Gloria is an infinite being, capable of existing across and within all dimensions, but she is also a guardian angel to a group of humans on planet Earth. It is fair to say that Gloria is not entirely happy about this, as she can think of any number of things she would rather be doing than watching over a motley bunch of humans.

Still, she has been assigned, the work is there to be done.

Technically, Gloria is as old as time itself and has no predefined gender, but she chooses to show up on Earth as a Black, working-class woman in her fifties. There is, she feels, an imbalance between power, gender, and race on this planet.

And while travelling around Earth, Gloria prefers to use something with an engine rather than rearrange her molecules and squeeze them through interconnected dimensions. She considers this too much like hard work, much to the frustration of her mentor, Christine. Who believes it is far too undignified for an infinite being to clamber about on Earth on a man-made machine. Especially the 1959 250cc Simpson that Gloria currently favours.

But today, Gloria is riding her red Simpson to see Rainbow, the one human from her group who challenges and tests her patience the most. And as the wind rushes through and around her, Gloria recalls their earlier encounters.

Encounter One:

‘Why am I not your only human?’

A surprising first question thinks Gloria as she introduces herself with the usual preliminaries. It can’t be every day that an infinite being visits you in your home. One would have thought there would have been other, more pressing questions. Still, perhaps it’s the shock.

Gloria gathers herself. She is, after all, supposed to have infinite wisdom and patience, but the question and the way it has been asked have challenged her, so she responds with:

‘How many of us infinite beings do you think there are? Of course, we have more than one human to look after. What books have you been reading?’

‘I suppose so,’ is Rainbow’s grudging response.

Encounter Two:

‘I’m your Guardian Angel, not your fairy Godmother. I don’t do wishes. Do you see a wand, a tiara?’

This is Gloria’s incredulous response to Rainbow’s written list of requirements, presented at the start of their second encounter.

Dear Gloria

Since our first meeting, I have had a chance to consider how we might best work together. I think it’s essential that we establish rapport and trust, so I want to know if you can help with some or all of my most pressing issues.

1. I need to find my life partner by the time I’m 28. This will make it much easier for me to have children and continue with my career.

• To enjoy a comfortable lifestyle, I will need a marketing role that pays £38,000 a year. This will enable me to run a reasonable car.

• I also want to buy a flat – two bedrooms should be big enough.

• Contacts for my career. If I’m not your only human, you probably know the right people and can make the right introductions.  

With thanks and anticipation.

Rainbow 😊

After the initial shock, Rainbow is far more interested in the practical aspects of having a guardian angel. What can Gloria do to smooth her path through life?

Reading the letter for the second time, Gloria is curious about Rainbow’s understanding of rapport and trust, but asks, ‘What is this symbol by your name?’

‘It’s a smiley face, ‘ Rainbow tells her, ‘We don’t know each other well enough for kisses.’  

But, in truth, nothing in the letter is of the slightest interest to Gloria. Her purpose is to build and strengthen Rainbow’s resilience and ability to withstand whatever crap life on Earth throws at her. Or, as Christine, her mentor, would describe it, ‘support the inner work.’

Rainbow can sort all the other stuff.

‘Then what’s the point if you are not going to make my life easier? If you can’t create opportunities, open doors, make the right introductions, why bother?’

Is Rainbow’s not unreasonable reaction, finishing with, ‘What does a Guardian Angel actually do?’

At encounter three, Gloria arrives prepared with an answer to Rainbow’s last question.

‘I am here to watch over you, be with you and help you weigh your choices and options. All the other stuff is largely bullshit. My job is to help you survive and thrive in the world you live in, and this may not happen if everything is laid out on a plate for you.’

‘I beg to differ,’ Rainbow answers, ‘can I get a different Guardian? What if I choose not to work with you?’

At this point, Gloria rolls her eyes and takes a slow and considered drag from her roll-up and answers with:

‘Doesn’t work like that. It’s one of those immutable laws. You get what you are given, and in this case, that’s me, though you can choose to ignore my counsel. But I suggest you pay me some heed if only to reduce the amount of willy waving and fanny flashing you may come across.’

‘The what?’

‘The noises people make when they don’t have anything real to say.’

‘Oh,’ mouths Rainbow, as she realises that Gloria has had access to every thought and impulse she has had since birth.

That’s just how Guardian Angels roll.

Encounter Four

‘Gloria doesn’t quite seem like the right name for a Guardian Angel; I’d have chosen something more….’

Rainbow’s voice trails off as she becomes aware that the sunlight has disappeared, and she appears to be staring down a black hole…’

There is silence as Gloria fights to retain her composure, reminding herself that it’s not good form to throw a human into the void, no matter the provocation. That really would cause her mentor considerable stress. So once the impulse has passed, Gloria responds with:

‘My name has more meaning and significance than you could possibly know, and I choose it to honour all Black women, past and present. Besides Rainbow?’

Now that she is no longer staring into the void, Rainbow can reply with:

‘Well, I suppose you work with what you’ve got.’

Changing tack, she asks, ‘Will I ever become like you?’ She looks critically at the DM-booted, black woman standing before her.’

‘You’ll be lucky,’ mutters Gloria.