My ‘transformational’ business………..

The story behind the story.

It’s been just over a year since I started blogging my stories, so it seems appropriate to go back to my very first story, ‘The woman who turned her husband into a dog’ and see how things have turned out for her.

So, without further ado I give you:

My ‘transformational’ business ……..


“Hello, it’s been at least three years now since I first shared my story and things have certainly moved on quite a bit since then.

‘My husband’ is doing very well, all things considered.  I keep very good care of him and I believe he’s a lot happier – with less responsibility and lots of regular walks.

However, as he was the main earner in our little household – I had another problem. I needed to find a way to supplement our income, dog food, vets bills and doggy treats, don’t come cheap. Particularly as I too want to enjoy some of the finer things in life.

Over time it had dawned on me that if I could turn one human into a much loved pet – perhaps I could do it with a few more.

Clearly I would need to refine my technique, package and brand my service. Then perhaps, just perhaps I could build a  business, with a real future.

So, dear reader that is precisely what I have been quietly doing these past year or so, working on my brand, my marketing and identifying my ideal client.

As, it had occurred to me that there must be other women, perhaps some men too – who would find it, how can I say, more ‘convenient‘ to have their spouse/partner ‘transformed‘. At the right ‘price point‘ – my service would be far cheaper than divorce and not as ‘permanent‘ as murder.

So, it has been with infinite care, circumspection and discretion, that I have launched my ‘transformational‘ business and achieved enough success for clients to start finding me.

With my website and a few carefully worded tweets – potential clients are starting to find me and the transformations have been successful and well received so far.

Of course I need to be very careful with my contracting and agreements. Don’t want to find someone changing their mind – once the transformation has been completed. There is no ‘going back’ with this, though I may well develop this ‘option‘ in the future.

I conduct careful and in depth interviews to be very sure that each client fully understands the consequences of what I do. That they fully understand, the change is irreversible.

Currently I am limited to dogs – but I can see a lot of potential for my business. Especially as a few enquirers are starting to ask about other animals. Cats, pigs and goats, I have even had someone ask about a chicken . It’s all about ‘innovation‘and ‘development‘.

I’m even wondering whether I can franchise this out  and train others to do what I do and branch out that way…

The  sky’s the limit I say…………”

Until next time……….

Janice Taylor


A houseful of Clones……………

The Story behind the story……………

We all have things in our lives that we don’t particularly enjoy doing, those ‘chores’ that we could quite happily live without. For me, it has to be said one of those ‘chores’ is cooking, it really is not my favourite pastime. In fact, if it was genuinely possible to concoct, prepare and consume a ‘reasonable’ meal in three minutes, I would consider this too much time. There are just so many other things I would rather be doing.

So with this in mind, I found myself imagining what it would be like to outsource this and a few other household tasks and it got me thinking about the old Walt Disney classic, ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ and the fantastic ‘Cat in the Hat’.

So without further ado I give you, my take on this:

A houseful of Clones……………….

SSB 1 Aug 2016

It is with great excitement and anticipation that Juliette, opens up the box that contains a rather special package.  It has taken some months, but now it has finally arrived and all she needs to do is follow the instructions and she will be forever free of all household related chores.

This will provide her with all the help she needs to keep on top of running a home and a demanding full time business.

All things considered, this, if it works will solve all her problems in one fell swoop.

What else could you possibly need, if you could grow your own team of ‘specially cloned’ helpers all with the focus and desire to make your life easier?

I should explain, Juliette, has made the decision to invest in a Beta version of ‘Grow You’, – a cloning system especially designed for ‘busy’ people.  She had looked very carefully through the brochure, completed the online questionnaire and sent off payment and hair samples to the ‘Grow You’ corporation.

Now with the arrival of the package she is all set to move to stage two, ‘growing’ her clones to full size and inducting them into her life so they will know exactly what is required of them.

And because finances are a ‘little tight’, Juliette has opted for the three ‘clone’, package: – she reasons she can always buy another set to enlarge her team if things work out.

So with infinite care, Juliette, follows the instructions and carefully stores her pots in her spare room. It is the warmest in the house and it will keep them out of the way and safe whilst they come to full size over a period of just one week……………..

Exactly one week later, Juliette has her three full sized clones and as part of their induction she names them, J1, J2, and J3 and allots each its own set of tasks.

J1, is in charge of all food preparation, buying, cooking and tidying up the kitchen

J2, is responsible for the garden and maintaining all outdoor space

J3, is responsible for cleaning and tidying up the house and ironing.

All, starts well as each clone, diligently and methodically sets about their tasks leaving Juliette free to pursue her work and her interests. She finds that she can get so much more done, without the daily hassle as she sees it of cooking, cleaning, gardening all the stuff she has absolutely no interest in.

And so things continue on smoothly for some months……………….

However, during these months, the clones themselves have grown a bit more ‘self-aware’ and realise that they are a ‘bit bored’.  They too have other things they want to do. So unknown to Juliette, they decide to ‘outsource’ their tasks. They reason it won’t matter too much as long as the tasks get done, Juliette will still get her meals prepared and house and garden tidied. Just not by them.

Strictly speaking this should not have been possible, but as the original kit was at Beta stage only, there was one small flaw. The clones are actually able to clone themselves, which is exactly what J1, J2 and J3 do and they conceal the additional three clones (K1, 2 and 3) and things continue on in much the same way, with K1, 2 and 3 doing all the work.

SSB 2 Aug 2016

Juliette remains blissfully unaware of anything being amiss, she had taken the time to carefully induct J1, 2 and 3 into her life and can see no need to do anymore, unfortunately they are not quite so careful in inducting K1, 2 and 3.

For this and other reasons it isn’t too long before the 3Ks decided to create their own clones, they had observed the 3Js and felt that they could also use their time to ‘follow their interests and passions’. Who wants to iron, when there is singing to be done, instruments to be played and books to be read?

So as you can probably guess by now, the 3Ks go ahead and create their own clones, following the example from the Js and name their clones L1, 2 and 3 and barely bother to induct them into Juliette’s routine at all.

It has to be said, Juliette is still largely unaware until one day noticing that her garden is looking particularly unkempt, she ventures into her garage to remonstrate with J2 only to find that it is crammed full of clones. All busy arguing and trying to conceal themselves in various ‘nooks and crannies’ as they become aware of Juliette’s presence.

After some months the original group of three had ‘grown’ to 18, and seeing this Juliette immediately contacts the ‘Grow You’ corporation and arranges to have her garage ‘cleared’. She is assured that they will all be well looked after and able to lead productive lives, just not with her.

The ‘corporation’ had as a gesture of good-will offered her the Alpha kit, but after some thought, Juliette declines and decides that she will find another way of making her life a bit easier. She remembers seeing something about a range of robots, maybe that is worth pursuing?

I suppose muses Juliette, to herself, as she reflects on her ‘clone experience’ they were all versions of me, so it makes sense that at some point they too would find household tasks unfulfilling and boring. And maybe I could have checked on them a bit more along the way….

So until next time


Janice Taylor

The mission……………..

The story behind the story……..

Partly in response to the ‘Lego Movie’ with its incessantly upbeat song ‘Everything is awesome’, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this film. Still, the constant and ‘never-ending positivity’ of the main character Emmet did make me smile.

And it’s this proliferation of positivity on some social media channels that I find can get a little ‘wearing’ at times.  I don’t always want or need to be continuously bombarded with happy thoughts, vibes, happy emoji’s or OXOXs. Still, to be fair, I don’t want a load of all negative ‘cr#p’ either.

So, without further ado, I give you:

The Mission…………………………

SSB the mission May 2016 1

What can I do to help you make a positive change in your life today?’ Chirped the voice from the App as Sylvia tapped on it, more it has to be said from idle curiosity than anything else.

I am your Happy App designed to bring joy and positivity to your life.’

‘Don’t think so’, thought Sylvia as she struggled to shut the App down, her curiosity very quickly replaced with irritation.

She had absolutely no recollection of downloading this particular App, and she groaned inwardly as it continued to send notifications, each accompanied with either an emoji or some ‘chirpy’ noise.

It was while it was encouraging her to step fully into her awesomeness that Sylvia, almost stepped into the path of an oncoming bus as she struggled to shut it down.

Not sure how awesome she would have felt under the wheels of a bus, and she may well have needed more than a few healing Chakras to recover. Anyway, after taking note of the ‘salute’ from the clearly shaken driver, Sylvia shut down her phone and resolved to sort it all out once she was safely back at the office. Then she could take a good look at the ‘App’, that had somehow appeared on her phone.

Unfortunately for Sylvia, she had a few issues to deal with as she arrived at work and at some point during a particularly trying exchange with Rex. A long-standing member of her team,  she automatically switched on her phone, having forgotten all about the ‘App’.

It wasn’t until she was back in her office that she was reminded of the ‘App’ when it piped up with:

‘I think you could have handled that a little better.’

‘How would you have handled it?’ Sylvia asked somewhat sarcastically as she gazed in astonishment at her phone. She had in her heated exchange with Rex, completely forgotten about the ‘App’ and her intention to sort it out.

To her amazement, her phone started to vibrate in her hand, as though it were thinking and then announced:

I might well have arranged another time to talk through the issue in greater detail, rather than trying to sort it all, at that moment.’

There was something in its’ tone, that brought Sylvia close to throwing it across her office. Instead, Sylvia chose to take a few steadying breaths as she considered the ‘App’s response.

It was true that the issue was more complex and involved than a quick chat in the corridor merited and Rex had seemed decidedly unnerved by the exchange.

Still, it was one thing to be bombarded with ‘happy notifications’, it was quite another to have the thing eavesdropping on her conversations and chipping in with advice. Even if it was well-meant.

‘How do I get rid of you?’ She asked, clearly there was no need to type anything if it could just listen in.

‘You can’t’ came back the reply, almost instantly ‘I will only leave once my mission is complete.’

‘What mission?’ Croaked Sylvia, she was feeling decidedly ‘freaked ‘out by this whole exchange, and she resolved to renew her phone and number at the weekend.

There is no sound as the words ‘To make you happy’ come up on the screen.

Until next time

Janice Taylor

My Coach

The story behind the story

In memory of an old grey three seater sofa inherited from a neighbour of ours, apparently it had once been sat on by Sir Bob Geldof, absolutely no idea if this is true but this ‘story’ always made me smile and just added to its charm.  It’s also the sofa where my mum sat and held two of her grandchildren as babies for the first time.

Additionally I am a coach, with a somewhat jaded view of the profession and a slightly irreverent sense of humour.

So without further ado I give you:

My coach……………….

The Coach SSB April


“Enter”, came the voice from behind the door and on hearing this I did indeed enter to find a large grey three seater sofa with a matching chair in the middle of a brightly lit room.

But as I looked around I couldn’t see the owner of the voice and feeling a bit foolish started wondering if I had walked into the wrong room, when a voice said with the smallest trace of impatience.

Don’t just stand there, take a seat“.

As I sat down there was no mistaking the source of the voice, but my brain was struggling to make sense of what I knew didn’t make sense.

I was looking at and hearing a sofa speak to me.

Well, good morning Sarah, what can I do for you today?” Enquired the grey sofa.

Oh“, I responded “I have an appointment with Charles Derwint, the life coach. I need to get my life back on track.

Then you have come to the right place“- replied the sofa, with what I thought was just a slight hint of smugness.

But you are a sofa, a piece of furniture” – I spluttered, I was still struggling to make sense of the whole situation.

At which point it appeared to take a breath and said,-

If you care to look around you, you will notice that I am a master practitioner life coach and accredited with the Association for Coaching. I have worked successfully with hundreds of people – coaching them towards abundance and success.”

Did you look at my website?

I had indeed taken a while looking at his site, but nowhere did it say that my potential coach was a sofa. So I simply spluttered, “Yes of course, but I didn’t pick up on the fact that you are a sofa

Then that makes my achievement all the more remarkable, do you think people would have stayed and paid me if I didn’t deliver?

He asked, with more than a touch of asperity.

If you look at my site, my Facebook page, LinkedIn profile in fact all my social media you will see dozens of testimonials and recommendations attesting to the work I do with my clients

Okay, so he has a strong social media presence, I thought “but none of this tells me you are a sofa” I replied, “I haven’t seen a single photo of you as a sofa

My voice trailed off as I thought back to one image, which I’d seen of one man in a chair sitting by a sofa. I’d assumed not unreasonably that the man in the chair was the coach, rather than the fairly nondescript three seater sofa, next to him.

Well?” asked the sofa, “Are you going to stay or go?

Okay, Mr Sofa” I started to reply…..

Ah, let me stop you right there, my name is Charles, so please address me as such.

Okay, Charles, as I am here, today I’d like to talk to you about …….”

Until next time


Janice Taylor