The story behind the story

Who remembers when U2 dropped its album Innocence on all iPhone users in 2014? I think it was meant to be an act of generosity at the time, but in truth, it just annoyed me, and so this story, The Mission, was born back then. 

It feels especially relevant now that we have Co-pilot, Otter AI, and other tools appearing on our computers to improve and enhance our lives.

And with the explosion of Artificial Intelligence and its potential implications for our work and possibly our very existence, I wanted to share this story again.

So, without further ado, I give you:

The Mission

‘What can I do today to help you positively change your life?’

Sylvie almost jumps out of her skin as the voice chirps from the App as she taps at it, more from idle curiosity than anything else. 

‘I am your Happy App designed to bring joy and positivity into your life.’

‘I don’t think so,’ Sylvie mutters as she tries to shut the App down, her curiosity quickly turning into irritation. She has no memory of downloading this App, and her frustration increases as it sends notifications, emojis, or some ‘chirpy’ noise while she continues her journey to work.

While it is encouraging her to step fully into her awesomeness, Sylvie almost steps into the path of an oncoming bus. If she had ended up under the wheels of the bus, Sylvie imagines she would have needed more than a few healing Chakras to recover.

Taking note of the ‘salute’ from the shaken driver, Sylvia shuts her phone down completely and resolves to sort everything out once she is safely at her desk. She can then examine the ‘App’, which has somehow appeared on her phone.

Unfortunately, as soon as she arrives at work, Sylvie has an immediate issue to deal with. And at some point, during a particularly trying exchange with Rex, a long-standing member of her team, she automatically switches on her phone.

She is only reminded of the App once Rex has left and she is alone in her office.

‘I think you could have handled that a little better.’

Sylvie gazes in astonishment at the handset before asking, ‘How would you have handled it?’

In her heated exchange with Rex, she had forgotten entirely about the ‘App’ and her intention to remove it.

The handset vibrates in her hand, as if it is thinking and then announces:

‘I might have arranged another time to talk through the issue in greater detail rather than trying to sort it all at that moment.’

There is something in its tone that brings Sylvie close to throwing it across the room. Instead, she takes a few steadying breaths as she considers the ‘App’s response.

True, the issue was more complex and nuanced than a quick chat in her office warranted, and Rex had seemed distinctly unnerved by the exchange.

Still, it is one thing to bombard her with ‘happy notifications’; it is quite another to have the thing eavesdropping on her conversations and chipping in with advice, even if it is well-meant.

‘How do I get rid of you?’ Sylvie asks, recognising there is no need to type anything if it can just listen in.

‘You can’t,’ is the almost immediate reply, ‘I will only leave once my mission is complete.’

‘What mission?’ Sylvie croaks. This whole exchange is freaking her out, and all she wants to do now is renew her phone and, quite possibly, her number.

There is no sound as the words ‘To make you happy’ flicker across the screen.

Until next time

Janice Taylor

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